I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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