now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
