i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
