eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
