susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
