Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
