but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize