we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize