you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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