I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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