I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
