If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
