I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
