are you still at the devil's house?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize