She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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