i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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