Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You're completely useless in the revolution.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
