life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
