Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
