You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
