chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize