Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
