he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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