So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
