Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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