He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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