chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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