I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We talked him into tasing himself.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
