we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
