I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize