I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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