My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize