thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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