I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
