Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
