Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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