Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
