the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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