# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
