I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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