If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize