Where is the hickey?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
