i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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