loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
