ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
