The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
