Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize