official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
