everyone is single if you try hard enough
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
