fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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