Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
