People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
