he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
