fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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