i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
