And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
