Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
