At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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