and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
