I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
