didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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