Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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