That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
4 words: hood of his car
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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