I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
