i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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