So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
