is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize