U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
