U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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